Goofy classes that can't, won't, and shouldn't exist.

[dislekcia]

Okay, that made me laugh.

Nice one

[Psycho Savager]

Guitarist
One Man Band: Starts with Wicked Guitar (small item) and Titan Guitar (large item).
Goes to 11: Level cap for both player and monsters is 11, not 10.
We Are Not Worthy: Enemies can be affected by Wicked Guitar multiple times.

Miner
Going Underground: Smuggler's Den automatically prepped, contains twice the number of regular bonuses. One extra subdungeon appears. All subdungeons marked on map.
Mole: Starts with Pickaxe. Walls can be destroyed by physical attacks, causes minor damage to those surrounding it, including player. Double damage to enemies in subdungeons.
Digging My Own Grave: Cannot use IMAWAL, BLUDTUPOWA, WEYTWUT, WONAFYT, ENDISWAL, PISORF, LEMMISI, Rock Heart, Bear Mace nor worship Binlor.

Zombie
Brains: Non-undead enemies turn into no-experience zombies of the same level after death (excluding bosses).
Braainnsss: Starts with +10 HP, +25% Phys and Mag Res, -5 MP.
Brrraaaaiiinnnnssss: Can stockpile up to 5 layers of Death Protection.

Hipster
Obscure Reference: Enemy tries to work out the band/film quote on your T-shirt - always gets First Strike.
You Probably Haven't Heard Of It: Has access to weapons/spells that haven't even been released yet.
Jeans, Glasses and Hair: Unsuitable attire offers poor protection, -25% Phys Res.

[Bloggorus]

Liked guitarist just for the ST reference.

May as well do all of the monster classes:

Bandit
Cursed: 100% resistance piercing.
Untrained: -30% attack bonus
Opportunist: First strike when health is below that of the enemy.

Goat
Resist for no reason: 25% magic resistance.
No longer fodder: Starts at level 5, no experience gained from lower level enemies.
Child of Horatio: Gain additional 1% resist per enemy killed.

Goblin
Monster First Strike: Strikes first regardless of any other status effect.
Bigger than it looks: additional 5% attack bonus and 1 attack per level.
Annoying: Monsters below 50% health become cowardly.

Golem
Magical Being: 50% magic resist.
Magical Strike: Remove 3% resist with each strike.
Written Instructions: Cannot kill same-level enemies (except 10).

Animated Armour
Ethereal: Starts with 10 death protections, magical attack.
Like an Onion: Unlimited capacity for death protections.
Confidence: attack bonus of 5% and 5 levels of corrosion per death protection.

Serpent
Old School Poison: poison on hit, monster stays poisoned until you damage a different monster.
Meaty: Twice as much hit points gained per level.
Why did it have to be snakes?: Spawn blood snakes of equal level to enemy on killing enemy.

Warlock
Magic user: Magical attack
Glass cannon: Gain 2 mana per level, no hp gain.
Wizard: Fireballs ignore magic resistance.

Troll
Ultra Tough: 50% resists.
Ultra Fast Regeneration: Double regeneration per square.
Ultra Cowardly: Step back 5 random steps on hitting an enemy. All enemies have first strike.

[Kingdom of One]

Kingdom Overseer:

Omnipotence: Levelling up fully heals, restores all mana and cures poison and mana burn.
Omniscience: May know the result of an attack/spell cast before it is completed.
Omnipresence: May travel to any reachable revealed empty square with a single click.

(I wonder how it would fare in VGT)

[Nandrew]

Kingdom Overseer:

Omnipotence: Levelling up fully heals, restores all mana and cures poison and mana burn.
Omniscience: May know the result of an attack/spell cast before it is completed.
Omnipresence: May travel to any reachable revealed empty square with a single click.

(I wonder how it would fare in VGT)

I love how super-overpowered you made all this sound.

[Kingdom of One]

Let's make things ridiculous and give it even more power!

Can inherit all abilities of any other class in the game and keep them for an entire dungeon run.