Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

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Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby squirrelnest on Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:17 pm

Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

I've been a faithful customer for many a season. "Dragons fall and gorgons die, so long as the economy stays strong" as the old saying probably goes. I'm writing to you now in the hopes that your customer support resembles the up-until-now strong product lines I've enjoyed.

I recently purchased a Mana Potion from an apothecary I'm given to understand you do not deny affiliation with. The contents of that glass bottle were *not* up to your usual standard, nor the standard advertised on the bottle itself! If you wish to continue to receive my business (and you do, for I finagle more than a few gold coins from forgotten halls on a regular basis) you will send me a coupon for a replacement potion post haste.

I've included the original label for your inspection. After you've made good on your debt to me I strongly recommend you launch an internal investigation. It may be that some sub par vendor is printing your brand on his own inferior products, or even that your shopkeepers are watering down the goods in some foolish attempt to drive an improvement in profits. Whatever the cause, keep in mind that for each dissatisfied customer that sends a letter, a dozen more simply take their gold elsewhere.

Respectfully,
Grogarkkk

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Re: Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby lordatog on Mon Oct 05, 2015 12:49 am

I'm not totally sure if this is a tongue-in-cheek joke about how the word "Guaranteed" shouldn't be there since the Chemist class was released, or if you're serious, but just in case... This is standard for the Chemist. They have weak potions, but get other benefits from them.
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Re: Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby dislekcia on Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:28 am

I have been informed by a representative of Bezar's Dimensional Trading that Bezar's Dimensional Trading does not guarantee effectiveness of products beyond the point of purchase, or when used in methods contravening the Product Usage Guidelines.

I'm not entirely sure what that means, but the representative seemed pretty annoyed. The scorch marks on my carpet are not going anywhere soon...
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Re: Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby Darvin on Mon Oct 05, 2015 5:16 pm

As the sole sane (relatively speaking) representative of the Church of Jehora Jeheyu, I'd like to remind you that we provide full trade-in value for all potions, even those with broken tamper seals. Unlike the churches of Dracul or Glowing Guardian, we do not have a rider clause submitting your soul as fodder in the eternal conflict between light and dark as part of the transaction. We do disclaim liability for all trauma (mental and physical) inflicted by association with Jehora Jeheyu, including but not limited to visions of impossible creatures from beyond, glimpses of the underlying horrific truths of the multiverse, corrosion and/or weakening in awkward places, whispers from a forgotten age best left unspoken, or paranoia that you're being transformed into a squid monster (for the record, you probably aren't).
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Re: Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby Tinker on Tue Oct 06, 2015 4:25 pm

As someone who may have been known (in the past) to associate with certain persons, who in turn are reputed to have ties to the local Mana Potion production industry, I would like to add that all locally produced Mana Potions undergo a very strict quality assurance process. In fact, the brewery employs a large number of employees who are constantly... testing... the products, to ensure full compliance with the standards set by the Global & National Organization for Meticulous Excellence. Specifically, all locally-produced Mana Potions are strictly adhering to the GNOME - 9001 standards.

Now, there have been allegations of certain imported / home-brewed Mana Potions, whose quality specifically cannot be guaranteed by the local brewery's quality assurance program. Even though these Mana Potions may have a label that is remarkably similar to the Authentic Mana Potion Labels used in the genuine production, these labels are reproduced and applied without actual compliance to GNOME - 9001 standards, and are to be considered misleading, whereas the Mana Potion itself is to be considered, for all intents and purposes, counterfeit.
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Re: Bezar's Dimensional Trading LLC; To Whom it may concern:

Postby William on Wed Oct 07, 2015 6:48 am

I am a representative of the Bloodmages Guild. We scoff at the idea that GNOME - 9001 standards are required for the production of superior quality Blue drinks. We have found that mixing in a little Goblin blood every now and then (Bloody Mary Mana, anyone?), gives it a real kick. Unfortunately the hangover is something terribly fierce.
"Because Goatperson"
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