Q: HELP ME! EVERYTHING IS GOING TO RUIN AND I NEED TO CONTACT YOU!
A: Fear not! Get a hold of us via email@example.com for crash reports, account inquiries and all that other madness which raises its head during beta. We promise we won't bite you!
Q: Uh, I don't know the answer to your forum signup challenge.
A: The animal you're looking for also happens to be an admin bot on our forums who posts the weekly update thread. Lurk for a lil' and you'll find it.
Q: Okay, signed in, but my forum posts aren't showing up! Do you hate me?
A: Patience, young goatslayer! We have a manual approval system for first-time posters to avoid spambot flux and obviously trolling and whatnot. It may take a day or two to approve your first post, depending on when we check the forums to see it. Smooth sailing after that, though.
Q: Will you make an iPhone/Android/PC/Mac/BlackBerry/Croissant/Hobo/Linux version of the game?
A: PC/Mac, web, iPhone and Android: Yes! Everything else, no. Unless Unity starts supporting baked goods as a platform. Console support is something that’s outside of our hands, it depends on platform owners and all that sort of complicated stuff – we just want to get the game out there.
Q: Is Desktop Dungeons going to be on Steam?
A: We’re planning to get on Steam as soon as we possibly can. So, barring any horrible mishaps, yes. And Steam are pretty cool about translating pre-orders into Steam keys, too.
Q: I see the Beta is running in my browser. What gives?
A: The Beta is going to be changing very often, as we update is with bug fixes and new content. To prevent us from having to send out endless patches, we’re going to keep it on the web during the beta phase, making roll-out much easier. Once the full is launched, there will be a stand-alone and a web client, and your save games will persist across both (given internet access)
Q: This game is great! How can I give you guys money?
A: There’s this “buy” link on the main site. Click it!
Q: Will you fix X, Y or Z in the freeware version?
A: No. Those things are all fixed in the full game. We had to rewrite everything anyway.
Q: This is way too hard, how do I stop dying?!
A: There’s a forum! There’s a wiki! There are even helpful videos.