I've been accused of trolling far more times than I actually trolled anyone, but I've seen my fair share of trolling, and what you are doing, sir, seems to in fact be trolling.
In the ceremonial manner of riposte to the ancient tradition of posting snarky and satirical comments with a straight face, I send you the time honored reply of "Pics or it didn't happen!". Your move

(I almost went "challenge accepted", though)